What I Did In The Span of 2 Hours and More

Life is really funny.

I was busy writing this horridly angsty post about relationships and the strangeness of it all; turning a really nice shade of puce as I ranted on and on about how people who put up a great show of showing that their relationships are in the pink of health, blooming and flourishing, are really putting up a great show of, well, putting up a great show.

Then he called and out of the kindness of my heart, I decided to talk to him for 2 hours, just like how students do when they’re too free. It felt good.

How do you talk to someone for 2 hours? Simple. You just accuse them of cheating on you by saying that a little bird has been mouthing rumours, and stuff the blanket in your mouth to laugh silently as they become increasingly bewildered and indignant.

I also found that after lying on one side of my face for 2 hours, I couldn’t see out of my right eye, because really, that’s what happened when you lie on your side with the side of your face squashed up. If you don’t believe me, you can try it for yourself.

I could have turned to lie on the other side, but it was quite an effort to turn, especially when you’re all comfortably nice and cosy lying atop a nest of sheets, covers and quilt.

So because I couldn’t see out of my right eye, I bumped into the wall when I went to get some water for my parched throat. The pain was so great, I actually gestured so wildly that I knocked an IKEA plastic stool which fell on my biggest toe. It’s a wonder the poor nail didn’t turn blue black, but then again, I’m not very sure, because I’m blind in one eye.

I could have gotten the water 2 hours ago, but my bedroom to the kitchen is kinda far – at least 20 steps; and I finally decided to traverse the long distance because my throat was hurting and I couldn’t take it anymore.

Then I decided to delete the horridly angsty post and type this one instead. To boot up my laptop is far too time consuming, 5 minutes at least, so I decided to use the home PC instead, but I’m sure I’ll be blind in my other eye too now, because the screen keeps quivering so – I’m sure that there’s something wrong with the monitor. It’s quivering like a frightened tofu (like how tofus quiver when you’re about to fry them). This can’t be good for my eyesight.

I’m feeling the sweat oozing out very very v-e-r-y s---l---o---w---l---y out of my pores, just so, because the fan isn’t on and it’s too much of an effort to turn it on. Inertia is very real. When you sit down, it’s horribly difficult to stand up, unless you are have no choice – either you pee in your pants or you go to the toilet (and the pee can no longer be contained because you have been containing for the past hour), for example.

Wth. I’m grossly hot and uncomfortably itchy now, also blind in one eye to boot. But I still feel good. Bugger Streamyx is down as usual, so I’ll have to publish this great masterpiece of a post tomorrow instead. Oh yippee, it’s up! As usual, the problem was because of my router but why blame yourself when you can conveniently hang the poor old dog?