The Cage

"What would you like to buy, Sir?"
"I'd like to buy a cage."
"Here, Sir. We have a variety of big cages, medium-sized or..."
"I'd like the gold one."
"The small gold one, Sir?"
"Yes, the gold cage."
"Is that all, Sir?"
"Decorate the bars with diamonds and jewels...and while you're at it, put in a soft feather-down bed."
"I must say, your bird is a most lucky bird, indeed, Sir."
"I'm glad you think so!"
"Will that be all, Sir?"
"Oh, and don't forget the padlock."

Excerpt from The Cage by Elayne Marshowitzky

Brick/Bag

It recently occurred to me that my handbag is actually quite heavy. This happened when the shoulder aches started happening. Clearly, a course of action was required.

Course of Action: Clear unnecessary contents from handbag

So, let's see....what do I actually have in my handbag?

1. Lip balm - used once every 2 months

2. Hand cream - used once every 3 weeks

3. Lip gloss - hardly used because it makes eating so difficult

4. Some spare hair pins/rubberbands - can't recall ever using them

5. 3, wait, no. 4 pens - you never know when one might run out of ink right?

6. A notebook - because I'm still using my old Nokia which doesn't take notes very well

7. My Nokia handsfree kit - used twice a year because I rely on phone speaker most of the time

8. My iPod earphones - aha! I actually use this EVERY DAY

9. Lots and lots and lots of movie stubs

10. Member cards of every manner - probably used once a year on average

11. An expired voucher (mental note: must throw)

12. Tissue paper - mostly used by other people who don't bother to carry tissue

13. A magazine

14. Keys to uh....some drawer, I think

15. Moisturiser

16. 2 thumb drives - again, 1 of the thumb drives just might expire when you need it and a backup thumb drive is a definite must

Besides all these, add in my purse, handphone and the MUST-HAVE water bottle and you get a very dangerous weapon - an innocent bag amounting to the weight of a brick.

But, but, but, all the stuff I carry around are absolutely necessary! You never know when you just might need them, right? You're in the mall, suddenly you have this urge to drink coffee, and ta-daa! *Whip out member card for some discount*

Additionally, think of the exercise you can get! We girls are tough.

Now, I had to take the LRT the other day to meet someone for a meal. I suddenly made this bizarre decision to be liberated from my brick just this once. All I took was my handphone, IC and some cash. That was it. The no-frills journey. No backup hand cream, no backup moisturiser, no backup pens, no backup member cards. No brick.

I walked to the LRT station - hands swinging freely.

I didn't quite know what to do with my hands. (They were usually busy with my handbag.)

I stuffed my hands into my pockets.

I looked around at other ladies lugging bricks. La la la. I'm very sure they were staring at brickless-me enviously.

I got into the train.

I balanced myself really easily - in fact, it turned out to be a pretty relaxing ride.

I didn't have to worry about my bag during the meal. I just concentrated on my food.

No balancing bag on legs. No worrying about getting gravy on the bag.

Yes, it was a good day.

Conclusion: I don't think I can live without my brick, but I think you're right. 4 pens are a bit much. Maybe I'll cut it down to 3.

We should never grow up

Sometimes when I hug my niece, I can feel that it is I who needs the hug more than she does. Which is so sad, really.

Adults are just the exact opposite of kids, physically and emotionally. We're just nasty, needy, hot-tempered, selfish, undeserving beta versions that get worse as we get older. Adam and Eve really shouldn't have eaten that apple. See what it's got us all into.

Those adults who successfully manage to retain their child-spirit sadly get taken advantage of by the other nasty, needy, hot-tempered, selfish undeserving beta versions. Then they (the good adults) get all hot and bothered and morph into horrible beta versions themselves.

So there we go trying to outdo each other in the most pathetic way ever. Why can't we all just lead simple and happy lives?

Jewels Are My Best Friend (not the expensive kind)

I woke up at 6.30am this morning without the aid of any alarm clock and couldn't get back to sleep again. So, I decided to wake up and do lots of productive things on this beautiful Saturday morning. After all, weekends are certainly NOT to be wasted. Precious limited time.

Let's see, it's now 8.40am and I've achieved:

1. Kept away my clothes (which were already neatly folded NOT by me). This probably took about 5 minutes.
2. Uh...made my bed. One minute I think.
3. Erm...played Bejeweled. Two...HOURS!

No, no, no, no, no. I couldn't have been playing for that long. I just sat down not too long ago! And I still haven't beat my mum's high score!!! That's SO irritating!

You know, there's something about Bejeweled which is totally addictive. Won't you agree with me? I haven't quite managed to figure out the strategy to score though. It just happens. I've learnt a few lessons though:

1. No point climbing to too high a level. The higher the level, the faster the time bar drops and when the jewels start playing hide and seek, you just Time Out in one blink.

2. No point hoarding those crystal balls. I've this bad habit of keeping the crystal ball until my time bar nearly runs out before I use it - sort of like an insurance. It's pointless, I tell you! Just use 'em! The more you use them, the more they keep coming.

3. Use the crystal ball, don't let it ka boom. Ka boom only scores you on average 3,000 points, but using the crystal ball sometimes scores you as much as 10,000 points.

I'll stop here. I think all these technical talk is boring you.

The whole point I'm trying to make is: BEJEWELED is addictive!!! Mindlessly fun and totally absorbing.

In fact, I'd say Bejeweled is one of the main reasons why I'm getting pretty interested in a certain phone with an eye. I just can't wait for the latest news on this phone with an eye which will be announced 6 June, American time! That's like tomorrow - argh, I can't wait!

In case you are of the opinion that you can play Bejeweled on any phone with a Windows Mobile OS, I'd say.....Noooooo - I use Windows at work every day, give me a break. I want a different OS.

Getting back to Bejeweled - I have a mission to accomplish!

Manic Monday

I'm the luckiest person on earth. I mean, really. After precisely two years and five months, I finally hit the worst Monday morning of my life. Yes, you must be so envious. You probably hit your worst Monday within five days of work.

I'm lucky.

I'm lucky.

Yes, I'm soooo lucky. What have I got to complain? You couldn't get any luckier than this. Really.

Breathe.

Breathe deep. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Breathe.

Cough.

Breathe.

OK now, control yourself, think positive. Yes, that's it. I'm lucky. Yes, you're doing well. It's all good. It's all fine. I'm happy. Everyone's happy. The world's happy. We're a happy family.....


ARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH!!!! IT WAS THE WORST EVER WAY TO START A WEEK!!! ARGGGH!!! THE FRUSTRATION! THE IRRITATION! I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!

Bad Habits can be TOXIC

Everyone has bad habits. Mine is drinking coffee/Milo at work and only washing the cup the next day. OK, maybe sometimes, the day after. Or probably the day after the day after. But, USUALLY, it's the next day.

Last Monday, I had coffee. I decided to wash my cup on Tuesday. But I was struck by severe sore-throat-so-painful-I-can't-swallow-I-can't-talk.

So I had to take MC over the next 2 days.

When I came back to office on Thursday, someone had put up a clever sign:

Top 5 Reasons to Visit Beijing

There was a time when I felt that China was on my "last-few-countries-to-visit-before-I-die" list. After all, if people were to ask, "So...where are you going for vacation?", answering "China" just didn't have that flair. It just wouldn't strike that "Oooh!-I-totally-envy-you" feeling in others.

In fact, some of the responses I received when I said, "I'm going to Beijing." were:

1. "Oh. (silence)"
2. "That's nice." (in flat tone)
3. "China!" (in surprised tone)

Never mind what they say, this new convert and strong advocate of 'Visit China' is now going to present you with:

Top 5 Reasons to Visit Beijing!
...and I'll let the pictures do the talking...

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1. Clean and Well-Developed

Note how clean the streets are!

Uniquely-shaped buildings put KL to shame

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2. Good food!!!

Traditional hotpot cooked in a copper bowl

Yunnan-style lunch. My favourite is the top left: jasmine buds cooked with eggs!

The must-eat Peking duck

Fine abalone

Blankets of Kobe beef


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3. Drown yourself in centuries-old history and culture

Tiananmen Square

Forbidden City

Gardens of the Forbidden City

Temple of Heaven

Breathtaking Great Wall (definite must-see) because all the photos in the world ALWAYS fail to do it justice

Ming Tombs

Taking a twilight tour around Hutong on a Rickshaw - utterly relaxing!

Ahh...

The beautiful Yonghe Lama temple

Striding down the Long Gallery in the Summer Palace

The famous marble boat at Summer Palace

A brief peek into the Water Cube!

If you don't know what this is, I'd say you've been in a cave for a very very very long time

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4. You get to play golf in LOVELY weather

Oh, the beautiful scenery with the mountains yawning at you lazily as you play

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5. It's totally affordable!!!

Alright, let's call a spade a spade. It's absolutely cheap! The whole trip itself is absolutely affordable. And then, the shopping! Oh, the books! Books are SO CHEAP. I bought like 8kg of books, and no clothes/souvenirs, etc. Hahahaha. I know. I'm crazy.


I'm setting my sights on Shanghai next!